This is a guide to inform you of what people who try to live with a newborn at home does not have to say. Comments are Algunos questions, other statements are, pero nada de esto debería salir por tu boca si quien tienes enfrente acaba de ser padre. Unas veces, people you do not know well turn to the topics to talk about something and, sometimes, people who do not have children simply have no idea. Not your fault; what happens is you have never been there.
1. “Do you get to sleep?”
What do you think? The parents of newborns usually go around like extras from the series The Walking Dead. If you see that the parents of a newborn do not have that appearance, likely to be immune to insomnia. Another possibility is that grandparents have fallen from the sky like angels and evening dealing imp, I say, baby. This is the big question that always make me. No need to ask; the answer will always be the same.
2. “Tell me if I can do something for you”
As you, with a newborn at home, had the time or energy to remember who told me “Ask me what you need”. My mental capacity is almost zero. If you want to know why, back to item 1. The questions themselves can be made are: “What can I take you to dinner on Thursday?” the “Would morning pick up children from school and take them to the park to play?” It would be a miracle that someone offered that way. Do not tell me to call you if I need anything; simply, tell me what you can do for me and when. And, if you can, bring something for dessert. That never hurts.
3. “How about your wife?”
Perfectly. Just removed from her womb a watermelon through a hole the size of an orange. Could not be better. De facto, maybe next week is to run a marathon; have that craving. Rather, I suggest you comment something: “I hope your wife gets well soon. Tell me one thing I can do for you so you have a little more time to take care”.
4. “And baby, Do you sleep through the night flip?”
Claaaro… With two weeks of life, is a unique creature of nature and sleeps all night. And as much sleep, spare me the time I, so I've been researching on the latest fashion trends. The I'm testing now called Dead alive. Do you like? It is the latest craze, especially among parents of newborns.
5. “Now that I have a puppy, I know what it means to have a baby”
Really? Do you think? The last time I looked, was still illegal to lock a child in a house, although clogging or above and you are not able to more. And you've had to raise to meet the puppy to 2, to 4 and to 6 Morning? I do not think you've woken up this morning by a crying baby poop covered up to your armpits. Seriously, diapers are not designed to prevent it from slipping, but to send the poo to back baby. Good, I could go on all day with this, but I think you can make an idea.
6. Typical comment from a stranger in the supermarket when the baby begins to mourn and you just try to make the purchase and keep quiet sanity: “It looks like the baby is tired / hungry / needs his diaper changed / etc”.
A ver, I have not asked you for advice, and chances are you know exactly what you need my baby. Unfortunately, my patience is about to agotarse, I have not showered in four days, sincerely, in mind tu opinion at all. If you really want to help, let me strain to pay to get out of here as soon as possible.
7. “When are you going to bring the baby?”
You have to understand to take a newborn home can be as disruptive as defusing a bomb in less than 30 seconds. Also, those who have no idea always want to touch the hands of newborns, causing germs and diseases to expand. Certainly, sick babies do not sleep… never. So, thanks for the offer, but the baby will come home when the time.
8. “When are you going to have the following?”
Although wimp add another to the collection is very tempting, moment postpone the decision for later. People should never make decisions in situations of stress or exhaustion, or through a vital change. Also, with the new baby, ya wind treks. Anyway, if the parents of a newborn have to make that decision at the time, all children would only children.
9. “Does paternity was worth, considering everything you've neglected?”
The baby is a miracle, and have it has been one of the best times of my life. You have a month, and would do anything for him. Not dirty diapers, and sleepless nights, nursery rhymes and nonsense are comparable to the joy of parenting. I never regret having abandoned the mi libertad (and my dream) to create a mi hijo. Just ask to be the father that my children deserve and, both, keep all the fun.
This post was originally published in LunchboxDad.com.
Translation of Marina Velasco Serrano